Lookin' fine in 2009

Gah! This blogging thing is hard. I've so far written one blog post on paper and about a dozen in my head when I've had nothing to do on the bus but daydream, but then discounted them all because, well, they were BORING! However, on the basis that something is better than nothing at all, I've decided just to let my (not very) creative juices flow directly via the keyboard and actually post something. Well, that and I have a (suspiciously!) quiet day at work and keep losing at Spider Solitaire, dagnammit!

Hang on a tick… this blog is called coffee and scones for a reason. I happily nommed my way through a scone for breakfast but I'm going all slow-mo' and am realising that it's now time for my eleventieth cup of coffee of the day.

*kettle boilage*

Aaaaah that's better. Not quite as strong as I would like but I'm trying my best not to work my way through this jar of coffee quite so fervently as I did with the last one, especially since it's technically to be shared with all the other minions in my office. Still, caffiney bliss - mmmmmm.

Another good reason for loading up on the coffee is that I'm off to the gym after work. I used to associate gyms with those lycra-thong-wearing skinny-minnies from the Call On Me music video or, more likely down our way, big muscle-bound, tattooed meatheads who grunt instead of talking, and so I stayed well clear. Last October though I was getting bored of the same old kicking and punching routine on my Davina McCall exercise DVD and decided something a little more intense was required… and so I took the plunge and went along for an induction. And do you know, I surprised myself by enjoying the experience!

Yes there were skinny-minnies in tight gym clothes and there were definitely a lot of muscley men "pumping iron" in the corner, but there were also older men with nobbly knees eagerly (if shakily) elliptically training, chunkier girls like myself plodding along on the treadmills and even some puny-looking young teenage boys desperately trying to add a little muscle to their frames on the weights machines. So even though I was still very intimidated, I didn't feel too out of place. Besides, one thing I quickly learned about the gym is that everyone is too busy pushing themselves to even notice the fat chick's ass and thighs wibbling like jelly as she tries to walk at 4mph on the treadmill.

And so from October until January I went along around 3 times a week to pump, walk, jog and cycle my way to fitness, concentration often etched on to my face and my tongue sticking out of the corner of my mouth as willed myself to finish my third "rep" of 15 on the pain machine (I think it's real name is the shoulder press). Then in January my monthly fee ran out and I didn't have enough money to renew it - poor me. Literally. Also, increasingly fat and unfit me. There's nothing more dissatisfying than to have lost loads of weight and reached a certain level of fitness only to have all your hard work undone in a month of lethargy. Although to be honest there's nothing more satisfying than a large meaty pizza, cheesey garlic bread and a bottle of wine or two, but such contradictions are the way of life, are they not?

Yesterday though, me and my darling fiancé, henceforth known as Yawksha Boy (as he hails from Oop Nawth, land of the silent 'R'), slunk back into the gym to sign up once again for a gym membership, this time with direct debit so we have no "I can't afford it this month" type get-out clause. And so in we went for our first session of our new (good) habit. Ooo it was hard, let me tell you! I was never exactly pounding along happily at 10mph on the treadmill for half an hour at a time or anything but before Christmas when I was going regularly, I'd built up my strength and fitness little by little to a level I thought was decent for a chunky chick like myself. But yesterday? Oy vey, man! The weights I was lifting were lighter but (I'm certain) even more painful and there was no way I was going to add elevation to my 4mph power-walk on the treadmill like I used to. Also, I put the upright cycle at the level I used to cycle on and turned bright red within around 30 seconds!

Flip me, mes amis, I was exhausted! But on the plus side, my hard work probably worked off the traybake I had while I was waiting for Yawksha Boy in the café beside the gym (never leave a chunky chick unattended near baked goods) and got rid of my craving for Dominos pizza for dinner. Instead I made a lovely wholewheat pasta dish with lots of vegetables and chicken. I felt quite self-righteous actually, until bedtime when I just felt plain knackered - hehe!

So my aim today has been to have a scone for breakfast (a girl needs her kicks people), irish stew and a bagel for lunch, some porridge for a snack this afternoon and then the gym. As for dinner, I'm not sure but it will not be a pizza :-) I've also sworn off the booze now for a month until lent ends. For random medical reasons I cannot eat chocolate so I will need some wine to survive the injustice of this at Easter, while others around me are munching on the sweet cocoa goodness. Let's hope this good behaviour lasts!

In the meantime, I only have 45 minutes to go until tea break time (don't you just love public service offices?) and about 2 mouthfuls of coffee left in my giant mug. Will I make it? Only time will tell. But two things are for sure this afternoon: I will be braving the gym once again, and I am not leaving this office until I beaten that sodding Spider Solitaire! Laters y'all! xxx