Dearest world,
I am writing to you regarding your recent concerns on the subject of my wellbeing. I appreciate your understanding that I am currently in a long-term relationship and am about to be married and thank you for your kind thoughts on this matter.
However I would take this opportunity to advise you that, despite popular belief, it IS possible for a female of child-bearing age to occasionally have a tummy bug or feel tired without being pregnant. Additionally, when said female denies such allegations, smug, "knowing" looks and remarks such as "are you suuuuureeee?" are certain to be met with disdain. And no, that does not make me "hormonal" either.
I would furthermore like to assure that, should I suddenly find myself in the bumpular way, I will be sure to advise you as soon as is appropriate. In the meantime please try to restrain your schadenfreudal tendancies or OH MY GOOD GOD I WILL END YOU! M'kay y'all?
No, still not hormonal.
Shut up!
Bah.
*mutter* *mutter* *big ol' hammer* *mutter* *hide the bodies*
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